


The Pirate King Bop

by orphan_account



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-13 00:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Luffy laughed, and laid back, head pillowed on his arms. “We need something for people to remember us by! A big song! And she’s gonna write it, right, miss minstrel?”She nodded her head slowly, still replaying the rubies tumbling to the grass. “Geblah,” she said.





	The Pirate King Bop

Slowly, laboriously, she awoke to a rolling motion and a pervasive scent of salt. A boat, maybe - she was lying in a large bed in a room with a single porthole, only the sea visible.

The minstrel sat up and clutched her head. There were vague memories of what she had seen before waking up… a talking skeleton, maybe? Unlikely, but the grand line had many ways of surprising her…

The door slammed open, and a small figure silhouetted in the sudden sunlight peered in at her. It screeched “SHE’S AWAKE!”

It hid its head behind the doorframe, leaving the rest of its body clear to her sight. She didn’t know what to make of it.

“Excuse me, Chopper,” someone said, pushing it aside. A tall woman with a log pose on a wrist leaned over her.

“How you feeling?” She asked, smiling. She had the feeling of a woman who smiled a lot, often to the immediate detriment of those around her. “Name’s Nami. This is my bed. I’ll be nice since you just woke up, so we’ll talk about the fee later.”

“A fee? Wha - who the hell are you?!” the minstrel stammered. “And - are we on a ship, because-“

“Yohoho! Nami-san, I believe Luffy-san wanted to see her as soon as she awakened!” A jovial voice cut in. A tall, suited skeleton folded himself through the doorway and extended a hand to her. “Shall we get you moving, little lady?” Nami sighed and beckoned for her to follow, walking out of the door.

The minstrel felt faint. Oh yes, she thought distantly - a skeleton in a suit, how charming. This was what she had fainted at the sight of. She turned from the hand and hauled herself out of bed. She spotted her rucksack and lifted it onto her shoulders, and warily followed Nami and the skeleton outside. If they were still in port, she could just jump overboard and haul ass back to her house and forget this all happened. If not… she may as well figure out what was going on.

They emerged onto a deck of grass bisecting a ship, enveloped (her heart sank) by the sea. A small grove of tangerine trees waved sleepily in the warm breeze, and seagulls cawed and swooped overhead. A small reindeer pulled her hand towards her and placed a paw on her pulse point, counting her heart beats against its watch. This really couldn’t get any stranger, the minstrel surmised.

“Oi, Luffy!” Nami called. “She’s awake!”

A yell began quietly, then rapidly increased in volume as its owner ricocheted towards her. “AlllrrriiiIIIIIGHHT!”

In the same way that a rubber band would snap back if stretched too far, or someone you’re not particularly fond of would bounce back and reschedule a night out that you tried to get out of, a man flung himself out of the crow’s nest and bounced twice before falling at her feet.

He grabbed her by the shoulders and yelled “So it’s a yes!!”

She immediately recoiled and threw his hands off. “Is _what_ a yes?” She yelled back, throwing a finger in his face. “No one’s even told me what I’m doing on here, I’m surrounded by strangers, and I’m in the middle of the ocean with no idea where home is!” She glanced back at the skeleton. “And no offense, but that guy is really putting me off!”  
  
The skeleton chuckled and said “I promise not to be offended if you’ll show me your panties, young lady!”

Nami smacked his arm, muttering “Shut _up,_ Brook! Luffy said he wanted a volunteer, not… whatever you did!”

“Oh, I made sure she volunteered! Yohoho!”

“That’s Brook, so persuasive!” The reindeer cheered.

The poet shuddered and shut her eyes. Seeing him pop his head off while asking her to come along had knocked her out cold - she didn’t see much of a point in repeating the experience.

“Wait, so, wait, you don’t want to be the minestrone anymore?” Luffy asked, his head cocked to the side. This thought appeared to cause him some mental distress, as if he couldn’t imagine why someone would protest being kidnapped and awakening on a strange boat. “Listen, we’ll even pay you for it!”

“It’s not a matter of pay,” she argued back, inching closer to the railing. Judging by the sun, it hadn’t been that long since she’d been carried off - if the situation got desperate she could jump overboard, and maybe swim back… “and it’s not even minestrone, it’s minstrel! Who the hell are you guys?”

Luffy swelled his chest up and stuck a thumb in his face. “My name is Strawhat Luffy, and I’m going to be pirate king!”

Actually, the situation was already that desperate. She screwed her eyes shut and sprinted the last two feet to the railing and threw herself overboard, banging her shins on the post - but before she could feel any quick breeze from the 9.81 m/s^2 acceleration coming her way, she felt a net catch her and give slightly, before bouncing her back onto the grass.

She opened her eyes and caught a mass of interlocked hands vanishing into petals. Luffy squatted to her level and laughed, and Nami cradled her head in her hand and groaned. “Yohoho! You’re a fast one, young lady!” The skeleton merrily cackled, while Chopper hid behind him.

“Leaving so soon would not be particularly polite of you, minstrel-san,” a new woman said.

She stood atop a staircase with her arms crossed across her chest. She cut an imposing figure against the bright blue sky and the thin clouds.

“And why wouldn’t it be polite to value my safety?” She eked out.

“You haven’t yet heard the deal.”

A _Deal_. Everyone on Minstrel Island knew about those. Legends told of minstrels failing in their careers, churning out two ballads and half an epic before some demon in a snazzy suit popped up and offered limitless fame for their first-born. The choice was obviously clear - and minstrels generally aren’t good with kids, anyway. This woman with her crossed arms, clearly a devil fruit user, may well fit the description of a demon, but the old stories were usually a bit more metaphorical. Then again, judging from the other members of the crew she’d seen, she was far from being the only one with a devil fruit…

The minstrel narrowed her eyes. “Go on?”

Luffy bounced into her line of vision again. “Write the song of the pirate king!”

Well, she hadn’t gotten anywhere by outright refusing commissions.

“And what do I get out of it?”

Luffy frowned and adjusted his straw hat. “Nami, how much did we get away with from the last island?”

Nami narrowed her eyes. “About twenty million beri and some rubies. Why?”

Luffy grinned. “Robin, you got them?"

An arm popped into existence by the minstrel. She shrieked and rolled away, before spotting something glittering in its hand. It relaxed its grip, and dropped a dozen small rubies onto the green grass.

“ROBIN!” Nami shrieked, springing for the rubies. The minstrel sat back, hypnotized by the spare moment that she had had of seeing the jewels.

Nami rounded on Luffy, and bit out “Luffy, we are not giving -“

Luffy laughed, and laid back, head pillowed on his arms. “We need something for people to remember us by! A big song! And she’s gonna write it, right, miss minstrel?”

She nodded her head slowly, still replaying the rubies tumbling to the grass. “Geblah,” she said.

Robin smiled. “I’m glad we could work out a deal, minstrel-san. Luffy, the others are still asleep. Shall I wake them up?”

“Robin, you can’t seriously want to spend our jewels on this?!” Nami shrieked, clutching the rubies. She waved her fist in the air. “After all I went through for them?”

“Maa, keep it down, you hellion,” a low voice grumbled. A man stumbled out from a door underneath the staircase, rubbing his green hair. “Don’t we have a box full of them? What the hell are you saving them for?”

“DON’T make me call in your debt, Zoro!”

“I mean… you’re absolutely right, Nami,” he muttered, edging back into the doorframe. He looked up and noticed the minstrel. “Oi, you’re the one writing our song?"

She snapped back to reality and nodded hesitantly, and then confidently. “Of course. It would be incredibly rude to rubie - I mean, refuse a paying customer.”

He rolled his eyes and muttered something about “getting along with that demon.” He had barely gotten through the doorframe before an explosive kick threw him clear across the deck, landing next to Luffy in a crouch with a hand on his swords.

“OI YOU SHITTY COOK! YOU’RE GETTING IT NOW!”

A red-orange ember burned in the darkness beyond the door, emerging into the sunlight on the tip of a cigarette. A suited man walked onto the grass, pausing to wipe off his shoe before bellowing back.

“DON’T DARE TO ADDRESS NAMI-SWAN THAT WAY!”

Luffy pulled Zoro up and pulled a long arm around the cook’s shoulders, causing them to stumble into each other. Two more men climbed down the rigging from the crow’s nest, one with a long nose and the other with enormous arms.

“Okay guys!” Luffy yelled happily. He sauntered to the minstrel and slapped a hand on her shoulder. “Say hi to the ship… poet!”

“Aha, a ship poet, I see!” The long-nosed man started. “Well I, Usopp, often called the Edgar Allen Poe of our times, was quite renowned for my tales on the bravery of the one hundred man army of the legendary island of gold, but that was so long ago…”

“Really?!” Luffy and the reindeer cried. Usopp nodded, self-satisfied. The minstrel immediately wrote him off.

The cook’s eyes pulsed in a heart shape, looking upon her. Zoro looked like he’d rather be anywhere else, and Nami was furtively recounting the rubies while Brook and the large man listened with the boys to Usopp’s stories, and Robin leaned against the railing with a smile.

She didn’t know what kind of story she’d write about a bunch of pirates taking on the grand line, nor the sort of ship that Strawhat demanded, nor the life that the crew enjoyed. But watching the crew and knowing what little she did about its history ignited in her a longing, a wistfulness for the adventure and romance of the minstrels of the old days. Besides - the rubies didn’t hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I read "The Last Hero" by Terry Pratchett and thought of this. Pratchett's the best - check out his Discworld series if you haven't! Not sure at this point if I can continue it, but please let me know where I can improve!


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